Yudhishthira Saves the Day
It was a hot July afternoon. The hottest day they had seen in almost ten years. The brothers were thirsty. It had been days since they had had enough water. They thought they would get used to the forest after a while, but it had been twelve years and they were still miserable. They were so tired, hot, and thirsty that their vision was blurred. They could not see anything for miles. They thought that there must be a pond of some sort near by, so Yudhishthira had one of the brothers use all of his strength to climb a tree to look for signs of water. Just down the way there was a glorious, glimmering pond with birds drifting above it. This was their saving grace. Yudhishthira sent Nakula to check out the pond to make sure it was not a mirage or the heat getting to him.
Nakula slowly crawled his way over to the pond, using every last ounce of energy in his body. He approached the water and was near tears. He had never been so happy to see water in his life. As he knelt down to get his first taste he heard a voice coming from the water. "Stop. Listen to me and answer my questions before you drink from this water," the mysterious voice said. Nakula was sure he was hearing things and that it could not possibly be the water speaking to him. He looked around left and right, but there was nobody in sight. He gulped down as much water as he could, and then immediately fell dead.
Wondering what on earth was taking Nakula so long at the pool, Yudhishthira sent Sahadeva to the pond to check on things. Sahadeva crept his way over to the pond, and once he saw the sight of the water he ran right toward it. He too was greeted by an ominous voice demanding he stop and listen before drinking the water. Sahadeva thought he must be dreaming, for nobody in their right mind would stop him from drinking water on this 105 degree day. He gulped the water down as fast as he could, and then he too fell dead.
Arjuna was next. After two of his brothers had gone missing for hours, he approached the water angrily. He knew something was up. However, he was not as clever as he thought, because he too disobeyed the voice as he drank from the water, and then fell dead. Bhima quickly followed the same pattern as well. Not a single brother listened to the voice, and each and every one of them were now lying dead beside their beloved pond.
Yudhishthira was furious as he marched toward the pond determined to track down the brothers and get his water. He approached the pond and saw the brothers lying there pitifully dead. He wondered what they could have possibly done to get themselves in that situation. He then heard the voice. He was not to fall for the game this time. Yudhishthira did what was asked of him. He answered every question the voice had for him. Yudhishthira was obedient and pleaded to the voice to not strike him dead as well. After an hour of questioning, the voice decided he had enough, and revealed himself as the divine Dharma. Dharma was the father of Yudhisthira, so it was no surprise that he was able to see past his tricks. Each of the brothers were then brought back to life, and Dharma thanked dear Yudishthira for his patience and virtue. The boys then kicked back and drank from that cool pond for three days straight, and they had never felt so refreshed. Yudhishthira had saved the day.
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| Yudhishthira (wikipedia) |
Mahabhrata
Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie (1913).
http://ouocblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/pde-mahabharata-riddles-at-lake.html
Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie (1913).
http://ouocblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/pde-mahabharata-riddles-at-lake.html
Before reading your story, I was freezing in the library. After reading your story, I felt hot and parched! I just had to drink some water! You did a nice job of dramatizing the extreme heat that provoked the brothers to drink from the lake. I know I probably wouldn't have hesitated to drink from the lake if it was that hot! But then again, Oklahoma heat is scorching.
ReplyDeleteLove the emphasis on the heat reminds me of Oklahoma in the summer. I chose too to do this story and took it a completely different style. I love that it is possible to have people pull from the same story and tell it so differently. This class does a great job of letting us see how others write.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you stuck really close to the original story. I think that the few details that you added made the story more interesting. It made it seem like there was more of a reason for the men to ignore the voice because it was so hot and they were so thirsty. I actually thought that they were dumb in the original story because they could see their brother dead and still ignore the voice. I think your version makes a little more sense.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story. The heat that was emphasized in the story reminds me of the heat in Oklahoma as well as the heat in Dubai and India when I was visiting those countries. I liked how your story was very similar to the original but I liked the details you added in. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor,
ReplyDeleteI liked the picture you have posted for your story telling. Patience is always one of the best virtue to follow. In addition, your story points that out. I liked reading your story. I did not find any spelling mistakes or any problems in the story. I actually enjoyed reading it. I am so glad all the brothers came back to life.
This was a good retelling of “Riddles of the Lake”. I like how you had the story follow the same plotline of the original story but changed some of the details of the story. It was interesting that the first four brothers did not appear to notice what had happened to the other brother’s but Yudhishthira was the only brother to notice that the other brothers were dead. I thought that was a nice touch to add to the story. The spacing in the story was good and the story flowed well. I did not notice any grammar or spelling errors. One thing that I would that I would recommend changing would be to start a new paragraph every time someone spoke. In addition to that, it would have been nice to add more dialogue with Yudhishthira and Dharma because this was the resolution of the story and it was just barely longer that the other paragraphs.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really good story. Lately I’ve been changing the plots in my storytelling assignments quite a bit, but after reading this story, I might stick closer to the original plot next time. This original story is suspenseful and dramatic, and the details and exaggerations that you added only enhance these characteristics. Specifically, I enjoyed the imagery used in the beginning of this piece to describe the characters and the setting. I found my mouth watering as you described their dire thirst and heat! I sympathized with Nakula when he was in tears at the sight of the pond. One detail you might add could be which brother had the strength to climb to the top of the tree and find the water. I was assuming it would be Bhima, since he is the brother who is famous for his strength. This was a great piece and made a nice contribution to your portfolio. Good job!
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